Why Your Toddler ‘Knows What to Do’ But Still Has Accidents
(Spoiler: it’s not defiance, and you’re not doing it wrong.)
Your toddler can sit on the potty, wipe, flush, wash their hands, even recite the potty book word-for-word.
And yet… they still have accidents. Sometimes right after you asked if they needed to go.
You’re confused. Frustrated. Wondering if they’re doing it on purpose.
(They’re not.)
Here’s the truth: knowing what to do and being able to do it consistently are two very different things—especially for toddlers.
Potty training isn’t just a behavior—it’s a body skill.
We often treat potty training like a checklist:
✅ They know where the potty is
✅ They can pull pants down
✅ They’ve done it before
So… why the accidents?
Because using the potty isn’t just about what they know—it’s about how well their body and brain can:
Recognize signals in time
Stop what they’re doing
Coordinate muscles to relax
Feel safe enough to go
All of that takes practice, regulation, and a lot of support.
Why toddlers sometimes don’t tell you they need to go
There are so many reasons this happens—and almost none of them are intentional:
They're distracted by play
They don’t recognize the signal until it’s urgent
They’re embarrassed about needing help
They’re worried about disappointing you
Their body doesn’t yet have the timing down to connect the “I have to go” with “Go now!”
This is developmentally normal. It’s not regression, it’s not laziness, and it’s definitely not “bad behavior.”
The Bottom Line
Your toddler isn’t trying to frustrate you.
Their brain is learning a huge new skill, and that takes time, repetition, and a whole lot of patience (for both of you).
So if they seem like they know what to do but are still having accidents?
That’s okay. That’s normal. And that’s not a failure—it’s part of the process.
You’ve got this.
And I’ve got you.
P.S. If you’re already deep in potty training and running into these kinds of bumps, I’ve got strategies that can help. My potty training guide walks you through the exact steps to take when things feel stuck—without pressure or power struggles.
👉 Grab it here