Why Is My Toddler Still Having Accidents?
“They’re still having accidents and I feel like I did something wrong.”
If that sounds familiar…
you’re not alone,
and no, you didn’t.
Continued accidents after potty training are one of the most common things families reach out to me about.
And the answer almost always comes down to one thing:
potty training is way more complex than most of us realize!
Potty training isn’t just one skill
Most of us think of potty training as just one skill. But what’s actually happening is a whole layer of skills working together every.single.time:
→ Noticing the urge before it’s too late
→ Stopping what they’re doing (even mid-game)
→ Getting to the toilet in time
→ Managing their clothing
→ Relaxing the right muscles at the right time
→ Angling their body so things land where they’re supposed to
If any one of those steps is wobbly? Boom, accident.
It’s not a behavior problem, it’s a skill gap! And skill gaps are fixable.
Their brain is managing a lot right now
Toddlers are in one of the fastest periods of brain development of their entire lives. Coordinating all of those steps…consistently…every time…is genuinely a lot.
So even when they know what to do, sometimes they forget. Or get distracted. Or decide that finishing their tower is genuinely the more pressing priority in that moment.
It’s not failure. It’s a developing brain doing its best. Things will come and go while they’re learning — and that’s completely normal, especially early on.
What actually helps when accidents keep happening
Instead of asking “why does this keep happening,” try getting curious about which part of the chain broke down. Next time there’s an accident, notice:
→ Did they seem caught off guard by it?
→ Did they struggle to stop what they were doing?
→ Did they rush and just not quite make it in time?
That answer tells you exactly where to focus. And when you know which step needs support, accidents stop feeling like a mystery and start feeling like something you can actually work on together.
Because that’s what this is. Not a setback. Just a milestone you and your little one are figuring out together, one step at a time.
Want to turn accidents into teaching moments?
Inside Potty Training Playfully, I show you exactly how to figure out which step needs support and how to practice it in a way that actually sticks. So accidents go from “ugh, again” to “okay, I know what to do here.”