What To Do If You Started Potty Training Too Soon
So you started potty training and it's... not going as planned. Your toddler is melting down at the mention of the potty, you're doing more laundry than ever, and nothing seems to be clicking. If you're feeling discouraged or wondering if you made a mistake starting, take a deep breath. You're not alone—and you're not failing. Starting too soon is incredibly common, and knowing when to pause is actually a smart, supportive strategy.
In this post, we’ll walk through how to know if your child wasn’t quite ready, what to do if you need to pause, and how to come back to potty training feeling more confident (and connected!) next time.
Signs Your Toddler May Not Be Ready (Yet)
These signs go beyond a rocky day or two and may mean your child just isn’t developmentally ready yet:
❌ Clueless Accidents – Your toddler pees or poops and seems surprised or confused it happened—no effort to stop, no reaction, or maybe even fear. This can mean they aren’t sensing those body signals yet.
❌ No Signs of Sensation – You’re not seeing any signs like squirming, freezing, or the classic potty dance. Accidents seem to come out of nowhere, with no build-up. That usually means their awareness and control just haven’t developed yet.
❌ Extreme Distress – If potty time brings panic, tears, hiding, or total freeze-ups, it’s likely not just stubbornness—it could be fear or sensory overload, and it’s a sign they need more time.
❌ Back-to-Back Accidents – Several pee accidents in a short time (2–3 in 30 minutes) can mean their bladder just isn’t mature enough to hold urine yet.
❌ Potty? What Potty? – They sit on the potty but don’t seem to connect it with what they’re supposed to do there. They may be going through the motions, but the understanding isn’t there yet.
What To Do If You Started Too Soon
Here’s what to do:
1. Pause with Confidence. Waiting 2–3 months before trying again gives your child’s body and brain time to catch up, and helps avoid confusion or pressure.
2. Switch Back to Diapers (without shame). Say something like:
“Your body isn’t ready to learn this yet, so we’re going to use diapers again. We’ll try again when your body is ready.”
This lets your child know it’s not a punishment, just a pause—and it helps you reframe this as a strategy, not a setback.
3. Watch for Readiness Signs. During your break, watch for new signs of physical and emotional readiness. Curiosity is great—but so are things like longer stretches of dry time, awareness before or during peeing, and showing pride in independence.
4. Come Back With Confidence. When it does feel like time to try again, shift the narrative:
“Your body is ready to learn now. Let’s help it together!”
Start fresh, go slow, and lean on connection and play to make it a positive experience.
Need Help Figuring Out Readiness?
If you’re not sure whether your toddler is ready or not, my free Potty Training Readiness Checklist can help. It breaks down the signs into simple, clear steps so you can feel confident moving forward—or know when to pause.
✨ Get the Free Checklist Here ✨
Remember, you didn’t mess up. Starting potty training too early doesn’t mean you did something wrong—it just means you tried something, gathered new information, and now you’re adjusting. That’s good parenting!